In Excelsis

sex Sex - Oh, that old thing! So much to say, and nothing at all. And that’s leaving aside the big questions about the difference between Sex and Gender. This is about the Buzz. What happens round about Orgasm, - in my case ejaculation. I wrote and performed a whole play about it, but let’s start with Annie…… It sometimes works that we set ourselves to do something really difficult. There’s an S&M thing going on here, mainly M. Which is also submission. Andy who was Annie wanted to wear the most difficult boots and the most extreme make-up and then go across town on foot to hang around in the hottest clubs. I end up standing while she eases her feet on the pavement outside and standing by her to talk under an air-conditioning down-draft. I understand. Only the most definite, the most controlled, the most perfectly constructed identity will satisfy sometimes. We master our medium, our art, while the rest settle for less, for the compromise. It gives us some kind of high ground to stand on. And the M bit is delicious, the helplessness, the limits, the surrender to the mastery. We can feel abject, object, we can’t object. The vulnerability is risky and intense and concentrates us, that walking deliberately, that face which may at any moment melt. And for Annie, - or you, or me - the moment before the melting is orgasm