Slut

desire I will never make a good trans – I want too much. I’m swollen with wanting. Our talk will be full of leading and sharing and standing tall, and I will have to admit that I want a good fuck. As well, that is, not instead of. I also want to be……. I want to be desired, and I spend time with men who may be lovers and most of them want a slut. We think we know what “slut” means, but it’s not work, not just letting yourself go, and Oscar Wilde, he of the great one-liners, only got it half-right, talking about the gutter and the stars. Something of wanting, - of, desire, for God’s sake – contains what looks like inferiority. It’s not a gender thing. It’s a role, it’s a choice which some can make, consciously, - others of us, not. Either way it’s a means to status. Yes, we reach out of mess, disarray, dirt, shit, the full gubbins, to achieve survival. The undesirable we make desirable, because desire is prepared to betray itself. I don’t care, I don’t check myself in the mirror to see who I am, I don’t respect myself. I see just enough of me to make myself available.